Friday, December 28, 2012

Apocalypse Podcast Part 2

The surprising second part to the apocalypse podcast Crystal and I did on the 21st! I'm uploading this just before I leave town to visit some friends for the New Year! Happy rest of the Holidays to everyone!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Apocalypse Podcast part 1!

In this podcast,
Crystal and Matthew discuss the impending doom of Earth, post its actual happening! In addition, there exists a delightful mix of other topics, as is customary with The Matthew and Kallie Show. Think of it as a Christmas Gift, you're welcome!

Wall of Stuff and Life Update

Hello everyone! So just so you all know, finals week blah blah blah refer to Matthew's post.
I moved back down to the basement and with me moved the Wall of Stuff! Featured in the video is Crystal!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Life Update!

From Kallie and Matthew,

This past week has been very stressful, both personally, and I think the rest of the country. For anyone that does not reside in the United States, the massacre in Sandy Hook was catastrophic and certainly has affected the nation. In personal business, Kallie and I, both enrolled in college, are finishing our finals. Between keeping up with the families of the children and college we've both been busy. I feel so bad for the families devastated by the shooting. The children victimised by it are not able get to enjoy the holidays their families planned for them. It is just tragic to think about. As for the gun-control legislation that has sprung from this scenario, I find it tragic that more attention is put on that than the massacre. As for my thoughts on it: I think that there will be no easy answer for gun-control, but one thing is for sure, we live in much too violent a country. Many things need to change. I myself have never owned, or even held a gun, my family doesn't have any; I was always taught pacifism. My absolute sympathy to those affected.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My Life In Jenna Marbles Gifs

Every morning I wake up.
And then I get all ready and schtuff
 and get in my car to go to school.
And then I sit in class all day.
Then I eat lunch.
And while I eat I judge the girls in the lunch room.
Then I get sad because I don't look like them.
And then I get home and sit on the couch.
And watch sappy romance movies.
And then I crawl into bed alone.
And then I realize something.
Because no one will ever love me. :(

Just kidding, lots of people love me. <3

Monday, December 17, 2012

Special Edition of Kallie Ranting

Hello boys and girls, welcome to a special edition of Kallie's rants.

Gentlemen: If you're dating this girl and you claim to love her a lot, DO NOT DUMP HER BY DELETING HER ON FACEBOOK. If you have the balls to say you love her, you have the balls to dump her to her face, or even over the phone, or even text. Just as long as it's direct and not all "beating around the bush" we don't really care. But when you delete us on facebook, we can't be responsible for how mad or upset we get. Because we could be mad enough to tell everyone about it. And then you look like a toolbox. Because you are.

Ladies: If a guy dumps you via some sort of social network in an indirect fashion, he was an asshole to begin with and really isn't worth your time. But that doesn't mean we won't be unbelievably angry. Which we are. Because seriously, grow a pair, man up and dump her using the words, "I think we should break up." But ladies, the same also applies to you. Don't dump your boyfriend in some stupid indirect fashion. Because even if they don't let on, it still hurts their feelings. Let's not be feeling hurts *sarcasm*.

If you guys couldn't tell, I just got dumped over facebook. Yeah. We had a slight argument today, but he was all like, "I still love you blah blah blah." and I was like, "Yeah we're all good now blah blah blah love and stuff." and then he ditched me after school. I come home and he has deleted me on facebook and posted a status about how crazy girls are. I'm not low so I'm not going to do something stupid like post a status about him. I just blocked him and I intend to go one with my life, but SERIOUSLY?! After three months you could at least have the decency to say it to my face. I'm not saying three months is forever but it's long enough to have to not be a jerk about it. Honestly I expected more from this guy. He actually was a nice guy to me and very understanding and caring until he wasn't, and then he just turned into a douche. I'm not gonna waste a lot of time being upset about this. If he's gonna break up with me by doing that, he's not worth being upset over. No guy is worth being upset over. So I'll go to school tomorrow and face him and not even bat an eyelash because he's not worth my time.

Okay my rant is over now. I feel better. I am now going to go study for finals!

Much love. <3

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Story Of How Matt Was An Accessory To The Death of My Camera

Hello all! :) Today I'm going to tell you about how Matt inadvertently killed my camera!
We were at our state fair and Matt was like, "OMG WE HAVE TO GO ON THIS SUPER AWESOME RIDE!!!" So this ride is a water ride, but you never get wet. You just sit in little boats and go through some boring tunnels.
So as we get on this ride, Crystal and I have our phones/cameras in our pockets with Matthew's assurance that we would never get wet.
Oh how wrong he was.
So in the middle of this tunnel, our boat stops and we get rammed from behind. After that we kept moving along... Until we got to the part where the boat went up a little conveyer belt hill.
And then the water came flooding in the back. Now we were kinda stuck under an arch. The front half of the boat was out, and Crystal and I were like trapped in the back. So the water comes rushing in and Crystal and I instantaneously jump up because OUR ELECTRONICS!!! The ride officials started screaming at us to sit down and I believe the words out of my mouth were, "Hell no, get me off this thing!" or something like that. So they yell at us to sit down and that's when I noticed my entire lower half was soaked in dyed blue water. Then all of a sudden we were quite literally manhandled out of there.
Long story short, my phone and most important my camera were screwed, I cried for a while, demanded a refund and now I am camera-less.

So Matt... You're technically an accessory to murder.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

C'est la semaine finale à mon université!

I wrote the title in French parce que j'ai un examen de française! Anyway, if you are so confused, translate the French bits into English. Instead of having a scary story, which I will record tonight, but won't be out until tomorrow, I am going to post some horrifying images I found on Reddit. I hope you don't plan on sleeping tonight!! You're welcome!

Sunday, December 9, 2012



My hope is to distract you into thinking that it is Saturday and that I'm not a day late, is it working?

Anyway, the podcast this week is one in which I test Kallie and Crystal on their knowledge of American Citizenshipness. Let's just say that if they were foreign, they most likely would fail the test. Near the end, we just talk about random stuff, but that is also funny. You'll hear Crystal's mom in the podcast, don't be alarmed. Aslo, the barking is to protect our identity. ENJOY!!!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

I Quit

Hello All, Kallie here.
So for the last week I've been miserably sick with god knows what (something that makes it impossible to get out of bed for more than 2 hours and then possible to sleep for another twelve thereafter). I'm still not feeling any better but now they've got me on antibiotics (yay drugs)!
I also quit my retail job. THANK. GOD.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


Happy Tuesday, you guys know the drill by now.

The scary story this week is in serial form with the next part coming out, next week. It is about a man named Harold who recounts his experiences at the Battle of Somme in WWI. I'm having thoughts of doing more serial style stories. They usually tend to be better in the long run. Maybe we could read some actual books, granted they would have to be in the public domain. Something pulls me toward Bram Stoker's book 'Dracula'. Maybe a possibility. Enjoy!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Podcast Saturday and Flying Squirrel Massacres!

Hi guys, Happy Saturday, thank you for the 1,000 page views. As you guys know, it is the day that our podcast comes out, so the box audio file, below, is where you can listen to that. It is about Birthday presents, geocaching, Lincoln, and flying squirrels. I regret to announce that during the podcast a flying squirrel lost its life. I'll clarify: the squirrel didn't need to die for the podcast, but Crystal was having problems with them at her house. One crossed her mother and found itself dead. His name was Hubert. As you can see, I have also linked a video about geocaching, check it out it is very good.